Saturday, January 10, 2009

How to Get Over Jealousy?

by BoomerYearbook.com

Jealousy is a poisonous feeling which has the potential to ruin a relationship. Often you may not even realize the fact that you are jealous by mistaking it for possessiveness or a sign of deep love. Feeling jealous occasionally is understandable but when it starts stalking your relationship and becomes the root cause of almost all your arguments, it becomes hazardous not just for your own health but also the health of your relationship.

How to figure out that your jealousy is potentially hazardous?




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3 comments:

Keri said...

Do they have online psychotherapists nowadays?? I was just wondering... coz everything's so accessible through the net these days and I'm hoping to bump into someone who can help me overcome being overly jealous... oftentimes I even think I'm paranoid. Can paranoia be equated to jealosy?

happy said...

There's another article here about paranoia lizzie. i read that already and i think there's a big difference between the two. the article is under medical and mental health.

Dr. Karen said...

courtenayt:
We don't offer psychotherapy online as it is against APA (American Psychological Association) codes, but we at www.boomeryearbook.com do like to think of ourselves as a "dear Abby" of the shrink world for baby boomers, echo boomers like myself and my sister Lindsay, and booming seniors. I would love to offer you some helpful suggestions to work through your jealousy issues. First let me assure you that jealousy is a very normal human emotion that we all have. However extreme jealousy can make us feel angry and alone so it behooves us to learn how to deal with it and move through those feelings. I believe that paranoia can be linked to jealousy in the sense that when one becomes extremely jealous they may start to have paranoid thoughts and unrealistic fears about being threatened. For instance if I am a very jealous girlfriend I may start to have a "paranoid" reaction or fear about every woman that comes into contact with my boyfriend. I may start to create imaginative conspiracies about the women who my boyfriend encounters in platonic or work settings or even in day to day occurrences. These fears may soon provide a wedge in our relationship and hinder our intimacy. Any loving relationship and particularly a relationship of physical and emotional intimacy needs to be founded on trust. Jealousy threatens trust in a relationship and makes people question each others actions, ultimately creating distance and dishonesty. Perhaps you should look at what it is that makes you really jealous. It may have more to do with your own insecurities that you have projected onto the other person. They may not even recognize it. I would recommend examining the things in your life or about yourself that make you feel insecure and then see if there is any correlation to those things and the things you feel jealous or envious of in others. When you are able to clearly delineate such a correlation try talking to your loved one, family members or friends or even close colleagues about the things that make you feel insecure or inadequate and how you have projected onto them or created paranoid fantasies to justify those insecurities. I then encourage yo to share that you want to trust them and for them to trust you so you would like to be honest with them and expect the same in return. When we are dishonest or hide things from others it sets up a situation for people to question and then become jealous or even paranoid, because if we don't know we fill in the blanks from our own perspective. Good luck on overcoming "being overly jealous or paranoid". If you feel that psychotherapy would further enhance your progress, I encourage you to find that support for yourself..